Watch A narcissist has no empathy. A narcissist does not want to be emotionally attached to anyone, as that would make the narcissist feel vulnerable and average.
sometimes the narcissists sexual partner is fooled into believing that the narcissist actually does care about them, that is for the fact that the narcissist might work hard during sex in order to ensure the maximum pleasure of this partner. The only reason the narcissist is doing this is to get narcissistic supply through being considered as a wonderful lover. just another phony medal the narcissist can pin to his fake self unfortunately, and nothing else.
in making love, the narcissist does not want to emotionally join with you. you are an object to the narcissist and nothing more. you are a thing for the narcissist to masturbate with and absolutely nothing else. The reason the narcissist is having sex with you is because they want you to ogle over there body. How perfect it is, and how they have mastered the techniques of love making, and for you to realize what a Casanova, or goddess the narcissist is. Unfortunately thats the totality of it all. now I know that all of us would love for our lovers to think these things of us, but there is a huge, huge, difference. firstly the degree to which we would want our lovers to think these things of us. in normal people this would be nice, but not a necessity. in a narcissist the only thing that counts, sadly is this false image.
in a normal person the essence of bonding/merging with another human being, body, and soul during lovemaking is profoundly powerful, and one of the most, if not the most incredible experiences a human can experience. A narcissist will never know this. A full-blown narcissist is completely unable to experience any of this, and totally and utterly unwilling to attempt to experience it in the smallest degree either. there is no emotion in the narcissist, it is hollowed out. The narcissist is a totally hollered out deformed fake person in all senses of the words, I hope you get this understanding.
now the two narcissists, the cerebral and somatic are actually part of one, and can pop up in the same narcissist at any time. it just depends on which sources are rendering the most supply, and the external situations.
You will often find that a Narcissist in a long term stable relationship who has made it intellectually, and is very comfortable with their Intellect, may only practice cerebral narcissism. They will ignore their body totally becoming absolute slobs, not worrying what their partner or family thinks of them as far as their body or offputting personal behaviors are concerned. I saw this in my father. Fat rolls stinky sweaty shirtless and this is how he would come to the table to eat dinner with the family. absolutely no regard for the rest of the family. P.S. I have absolutely no problem with people who have a weight problem that is not what Im getting at here, but this is the only way I can think to put it in words that you can get a sense of what Im talking about. in this phase or at the extreme end of the cerebral narcissist I believe that this type of narcissist would not bother about trying to be a Casanova in bed as he was already getting ample narcissistic supply from what people thought of his intellect and his position in life, and he would devote his total attention to promoting his Interlect and not his body. its this type of narcissist who would be most likely to become totally celibate, possibly only using masturbation.
as far as my ex, during his teenage years I believe he garnered most of his narc supply through being both a somatic and cerebral narcissist. A bit of each. learnig many of the break dance moves at the time, and performing them to unofficial applauding audiences at carefully selected opportunities, plus bodybuilding, but also giving the impression of being a responsible hard-working, smart individual with potential. this sort of pattern has continued pretty much throughout his life. sexually he took on many of the Cerebral narcissist behaviors. withholding sex, asexual but also wanting to be thought of as the Casanova in bed. The reason I am giving you some examples from my life is because I believe it will help you to possibly understand some of the dynamics you have experienced even though they may be different
according to Sam Vaknin most narcissists prefer group sex and a polyamorous lifestyle. all narcissists semantic and cerebral objectify their sexual partners. full-blown narcissists are auto-erotic.